We threw everthing at it! Finally, we decided the one thing we hadn’t tried was surrogacy.

Name: Bianca

Age: 42

Time TTC: Over 13 years

Diagnoses: Endometriosis, Unexplained Infertility, Female Infertility, Miscarriage / Loss, Poor Egg Health

Strategies: IVF, Genetic Testing, Egg / Sperm Donor, Fertility Diet, Supplements, Herbs, Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Aromatherapy, Counselling, ERA Test, Endo Scratch, Intrallipids, Steroids

My fertility story

After many years of trying naturally, undergoing various tests and working at getting my overactive thyroid balanced, we started our IVF treatments in July 2013.

October 2013, we had a positive pregnancy test and our viability scan at 6 weeks 4 days showed one good heartbeat. At our 12 week scan, we discovered that we had had a missed miscarriage – the baby had stopped growing at around 8 weeks. The next day I had an evacuation procedure.

7 subsequent rounds of Ivf with own and donor egg as well as a donor embryo did not even yield an implantation.
We threw everything at it – diet change, steroids, ERA test to check receptivity, hysteroscopy, laparoscopy, embryo glue, endo scratch, intrallipids for high NK cells as well as PGD but nothing.

Finally, we decided the one thing we hadn’t tried yet was surrogacy. It seemed pointless to continue the way we had time and time again. Time to explore an alternative path to parenthood.

The lowest point in my journey and what helped me recover from it

The missed miscarriage. The most devastating feeling in the world. I took a very long time to recover from it – I don’t think you ever recover fully, you just manage to place it at the back somewhere.

The eagerness to continue on my mission to motherhood kept me going and trying to be positive. Determination not to give up.

Where I am right now in my journey

My gorgeous twin boys are nearly 4 months old, born through donor egg surrogacy! They are a real dream come true and I couldn’t love them more!

What I learned from my fertility experience

There are so many ways to fulfil your dreams. Don’t be narrow-minded and only focus on one way and one route. Be open to endless amazing possibilities and the universe will open its doors for you.

If I had to start my fertility journey again: What would I do differently

I would have looked into surrogacy sooner instead of wasting time, tears and money on doing the same thing over and over.

My favourite resources about fertility (websites, books, blogs or articles)


IVF A Detailed Guide (Bianca Smith – my own book available on Amazon in eBook, Paperback and Audio)

Laughing is Conceivable (Lori Shandle-Fox)

Sperm Tales (Lynn M. Collins)

The Fertile Goddess Cookbook (Rachel Campbell)











What I would tell someone else going through infertility right now

Follow your heart. Do whatever you feel is best for you at the time not what others say. Live your life and your journey the way that feels right for you. Be open to alternative ways to motherhood. Be relentless in pursuing your dream but not narrow focused.

My favourite inspiring fertility quote

Your struggle is part of your story – share it and inspire others


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